Friday, February 5, 2010

rock bottom

It's been a while, yes, it certainly has. Where to begin? It seems like forever since we lived in France, and yet like yesterday, too. I'm very lucky to have lived through so much adventure so far and don't know how I'd make it through the days if I hadn't had that experience. We're still adjusting, still "moving in" though it's been a year and a half, so I'm not sure how long I can say that. Suburbia SUCKS. I hate it. We are lucky to live in a townhome so we're not so isolated, but it still sucks. No wonder people go crazy; I certainly am. I spend my days cleaning, cooking and figuring out what the hell I'm going to do to keep my three little boys occupied, out of trouble and hopefully teach something. The only intellectual stimulation I get these days is thinking of what color to paint the bathroom. But I shouldn't be so selfish. At least I have a bathroom.

It's not been so difficult adjusting to life back in the US as it has been adjusting to twins plus 1. That has kicked my butt. I am not tired. I am physically and emotionally spent at the end of each day. But at least I can get out of the house easier now. The only trouble is deciding where to go. So let's see... Kohl's, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, grocery, mall... Where the hell can I take my kids? I'm not much of a shopper especially with three in tow, but I did need to get a few things. Gift cards decide where I go, so ended up at Wal-Mart. Usually I bring something for the kids to eat and/or feed them before we go, but this was a morning where I just needed to get out of the house, in 40 degree weather, with shoes/no shoes, coat/no coat - didn't matter. Just get out and finish dressing in the car!

So it was lunch time and we sat down to eat - at the McDonald's inside of the Wal-Mart. I do my best to cook and eat healthy. Fresh veggies/fruits, little to no sugar, and very few packaged meals, so this is a tripple whammy for me. With three orders of chicken nuggets, two double cheeseburgers, a chicken sandwich and small fry, all for the four of us, we all gobbled it up! As I sat there I realized that I had indeed hit rock bottom and had a choice to make. Either to embrase it, go with the flow, or to become depressed. Only a few years ago, we were in Paris, eating at the finest restaurants, soaking up the most beautiful architecture, strolling through the Musee D'Orsay. Definitely utterly depressed!